The Legend of Half Beard

You know, my brush-in with the halfbeard got me thinking. Obviously, there is more of us out there. But I was wondering, who were the halfbeards of the past? Are there successful halfbeards out there in this modern day world? So, after an all night bender, I hit the Museum of American History, like any normal person would do. Because dammit, after a night of drinking Schlitz and banging hookers, I kinda want to learn about our founding fathers.
So I get there, and pay the allotted donation. You know, $5 for kids, $10 for adults, $7 for seniors, and $26.83 for halfbeards... damn, i got hosed. Anyway, I found out that there are a ton of halfbeards out there, past and present, that make the country run. As a matter of fact, one of the first patriots of our day, Sam Adams, was a halfbeard. And brewed his own beer to boot. A fine man he was...



Another one, one of the fathers of flight, Wilbur Wright of the Wright Brothers fame was a halfbeard.



Here's one that surprised me. One of the major leaders in the civil rights movement, not only was for equality for black people, but also halfbeards...



Major political figure, Ted Kennedy, is a halfbeard...



And pop star icon of the 60s, Tito Jackson, is a vibrant halfbeard...



I never knew there were so many out there. I learned so much that day at the museum, that I just couldn't wait to get home and drink all of my knowledge away. Actually, that's not possible, since my halfbeard, not my brain, stores 90% of my memories.

I hope you are as thrilled with the news that halfbeards can thrive in a society not yet ready to accept them. It's too bad us halfbeards will have to just end up killing ourselves off. We have a lot we could contribute to society... can't think of many examples at the moment, but i'm sure we do. Well kiddies, it's off to the fridge...