The Legend of Half Beard

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed.  Unusual for me. While in this perky and upbeat mood, I decide maybe a little fresh air and some exercise might be good. I strap on my shoes.
Nice right? Limited edition suckas.

Now for some reason I've always been a fan of basketball. And I got skills. I ain't no MJ, but I got skillz. When I get a little low on cash I like to go down to the local court and hustle some fools for some cash. Yea, I'm that dude. I got a good partner as well...maybe you heard of him...Wesley Snipes. When we playing he goes by Sidney Deane...don't ask me why...I told him it was a gay alias. I'm sure you've heard that Wesley..er..Sidney...is having a little legal trouble, so he is more than ready to get some cash on the court. So he picks me up bumping that new shit...maybe you heard of it...
We head down to the court...group of dudes already playing there...just perfect.
Sidney drops me off about a block away. He drives off knowing he needs to come to the court in about 20 minutes.
I walk up, and just like any where else I go, the music stops and everyone stares. I can hear them talking.."What the fuck...that dude has a Half Beard..crazy ass dude"..it doesn't bother me...I've put up with it my entire life. I ask to join the game, of course they laugh and say no.
Just like clock work Sidney rolls up. He gets out, asks to join, they tell him he needs to get a partner...he says "I'm trying to play for cash, and I will bust yo ass with who ever you stick me with". Again like clock work, they point to me...they always point to me.
Long story short, they left the court, leaving us with 5 bills a piece. Not enough for Sidney's lawyer, but there is always other games.
Of course Sidney, however, is betting man like myself. Not to mention a shit talker. He is a little upset we didn't destroy them in the game. Mad cause I didn't dunk on fools. "What Half Beards can't jump?" he says to me. Pfft I say knowing damn well I could stretch out my Half Beard and dunk all day, but we both know the kind of attention that would bring, scientists..etc.
Well of course I'm like man you know I can dunk I just choose not to. I don't want to draw any more attention to myself.
"I got 500 that says you can't" he says.
Needless to say, but I'm going to say it. I went home empty handed, lost my 5 bills because I didn't use my Half Beard. I could have you know, but I guess I got something in me that doesn't like to cheat. Well I don't like to cheat at most things. You know how women are. Like Lays, betcha can't eat just one...
Sorry I got way off topic there, but losing that 500 means I will be working for the pussy, not buying it.