Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Book Of Half Beard : Chapter Two

So here we are at Chapter 2 already. Pretty easy life, this Half Beard-ness. Woke up, created a planet, shot gunned a 6 pack of some Natty's. Went back to sleep. Ahhh. Dont hate on the Natty either, creating life n shit aint easy, and it definitely doesnt pay well.

After another night of booze and porcupine fights, I decide that my little planet is missing something. I scratch my Half Beard in thought, a few whiskers fall the to earth, low and behold trees and grass begin to grow. I have to admit at this point im slightly hung over and this is all pretty fuckin amazing to me. So I start to play around with this new found "Sim". I just happen to have what they call "bar elbows", so i scrape a few dead flakes of skin off....*poof* I now have deserts on my little ball of randomness. This next one is probably a little weird, but shit I couldnt resist, i start digging up my nose, and well lets just say now we have mountains. A few loogies hawk'd and we got a few lakes. Then it hit me, I seriously laughed out loud. Pure genius I thought to myself. And well, after a night of drinking what did you expect? I hope by now you have guessed how the oceans were formed, I mean why do you think they are so salty?

What would you do im my shoes? I mean really. Here you discover you have this super cool ability to make life....crazy. I gotta sit down.

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